Why An Argument Between Couples Can Sometimes Drag On And On
When two people commit to being with each other, they know that it is not going to be all sweetness and light and that there will be difficult times along the way. However, sometimes those challenging times can become protracted and can significantly affect how these two individuals live their lives. In fact, there is so much riding on the union that they may seem unable to get over the arguments they are having and feel the need to reach out to a consultant for help. What is going on and why is it so difficult for two people, who are otherwise mature adults, to sort this out?
Deep-Rooted
The need for companionship or connection is a fundamental part of the human psyche. It goes all the way back to the cradle when people first connected with their mother and formed a bond that would dictate their behaviour through the rest of their lives. It's not always self-evident, but people will try to connect with others in a similar fashion through childhood, adolescence and adulthood, and for many, this will lead to marriage or a union of some kind. This union ought to represent the end of their search and the beginning of a life of close companionship until they pass on. However, these individuals may, deep down, be quite different from each other, and no matter what they do, the connection just doesn't seem to take hold.
Too Much Pressure
Because each person fears isolation and loneliness more than anything else, they may put additional pressure on the relationship by trying to force it to work properly. Yet unless they both understand their operating style and make adjustments so that they can cooperate, arguments and disagreements can drag on and on.
Understanding the Language
It is possible to achieve a breakthrough, however, when both people talk the same language and exchange meaningful dialogue. It can be difficult to coax this out sometimes, but this is where an experienced and trained therapist can work wonders. Over time and through a number of meetings, it may be possible to chip away at the barriers that may have been put up so that both people can reconnect on a physiological and psychological level.
Taking the First Steps
If you feel that you have been knocking your head against a brick wall and your companion is in a similar position, schedule a couples counselling meeting and see if that can help you to sort things out. After all, the alternative is more of the same or a complete breakdown leading to permanent separation, and nobody wants that if they can help it.
